Love Me Now
by zephyrBLUE
Summary: Naruto is a fairy. Sasuke is a schizo. Kiba and Neji are drag queens. Shikamaru is a drug dealer. Sakura is a dyke. Welcome to your new high school Gaara. AU. Crack? GaaNaru?


Disclaimer: zephyr does not own these characters.

-x-Love me. Now.-x-

I stepped out of my black Audi and stared at the building that stood before me. Konoha High. The pale brick building looked more like a mental house than a high school. I quickly pressed the button on my key chain and the car chirped.

I walked forward, fiddling with the edges of my dark shirt before I was knocked down by someone slamming right into me. I groaned and looked down at the warmth pressing on my chest. A girl with short brown hair and heavy red lipstick grinned up at me... My eyes widened. This... was no girl... The boy batted his fake eyelashes at me and adjusted the dog hair clippy on his bangs.

"Kiba! Get your ass back here!! Imma KILL you!!!" Someone screamed. The boy jumped up, frilly pink skirt flying up and giving me a shot of his lacy black panties before dashed off.

"Later hottie!!" He waved back at me. I couldn't even move. Someone with stunning blond hair jumped over me after the brunet. They tore around the side of the building and out of my sight but I heard the boy scream "No! Naruto don't! That's my fav purse!!"

I stood up and carefully walked into the building. I regretted it the moment the door closed behind me. Mass chaos reigned around me. People screaming, papers tossed everywhere, a kid obviously pushing by the lockers, two boys fused at the mouth. What the fuck was going on here?

Someone slammed into me from behind. I turned and came face to face with an angry raven haired teen. "Why the fuck are you standing in the doorway? **Do you want to die**?" Horror washed over his face. "Oh wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that!" The anger came back. "Get out of my WAY!"

I hopped back against the wall. Honestly. This place was scaring the fuck out of me. Several of the students close to me began to laugh at me. "Don't mind them." I jumped out of my skin. The blond from earlier stood beside me. He grinned. "You scream newbie. I'll show you to the office!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me right into the crowed of psychos.

"What's your name? My name's Naruto. Don't ask me what's up with that. This place is like a mad house. Don't worry. You'll get used to it. Promise. I did. Just ask me anything you want to know. The principal here is a freeeeak, but everyone loves him. Some of us wanna love him all night long. OMG. Did I totally just say that out loud? I did." He stopped in front of an entryway and turned to me. "So what's your name? You never answered."

I waited a minute to see if he was actually done talking this time before opening my mouth. "Gaara."

"Oh. Gaara-kun. I like it." He dragged me by my elbow into the office and placed me in front of a dark haired woman. "New kid." Dark eyes settled on mine before she raised her hand to the frosted glass door beside us. I stood there for a minute waiting for some elaboration. There was none. Naruto shoved me towards the door and wiggled his fingers at me when I looked back.

To be perfectly truthful, I was too fucking stunned to do anything but walk into the office.

A grey haired man behind a desk looked up. "Can I help you?"

"Uh, yeah. Today's my first day here." I sat down in one of the dark green chairs stiffly and faced him. His mask hid the lower half of his face, but his eyes smiled at me.

"Sabaku Gaara. We're very happy you've chosen to attend our school. I'm the principal Hatake Kakashi. Please come to me if you have any problems." He handed me a piece of paper. It was my schedule. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got something else to attend to." I stood and walked out the door, eye twitching as I heard a giggle that certainly had not come from the masked man from behind me.

What the fuck was wrong with this place?

Naruto met me at the door as the bell rang. Blue eyes locking onto mine and lighting up as he spotted me. "Gaara-kun!" He shouted happily, sliding his arm around mine. "You know, I am sooooo glad your name isn't something weird. That would so totally suck." I looked down at him confused.

"Why?"

He snorted and shoved me away from him with one arm while keeping a firm hold on me. "You're so silly Gaara-kun!" I just stared at him. This place was fucking with my brain. Did I forget something? He smiled and stood up on his tip toes, pecking me on the cheek. "Cause you're gonna fall in love me that's why!!"

-x-Love Me. Now.-x-

So... this is my first story. be gentle?


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